Speed dating

I wrote this for my playwriting class for an exercise of having 2 characters not directly answering the other's questions.

Speed dating

TYLER

Hey.

SANDRA

Hey.

TYLER

So, your name is?

SANDRA

Don't you think that's a little personal?

TYLER

Sorry, my bad. What sort of things do you like to do?

SANDRA

I was going to ask you the same thing.

TYLER

I think humanity has lost it. Look at everyone. They're all about 8-5 jobs, sitting in a cubicle all day, not really doing anything.

SANDRA

(is lost deep in thought)

Hmmm...

TYLER

Thoreau. He was a genius. I plan on escaping to my own Walden, when I can take work off.

SANDRA

(distracted)

Did I leave my curling iron on?

TYLER

The concept of materialism is so messed up. Why do we have to rely on those green slips of paper anyways?

SANDRA

$20 for my nail job. Does this look like a 20 dollar job to you?

TYLER

I do enjoy some good jazz music. Not the kind with the sleazy saxophone. Just the good kind. What about you?

SANDRA

There are two types of people in this world: those who like bagpipes, and those who want to set bagpipes on fire.

TYLER

I admit I have a fascination with how things work. I'm always taking things apart. I suppose it's my weakness.

SANDRA

How much do you make?

TYLER

The toaster is so amazing! And everyone always takes it for granted. People just need to go out into the wilderness for a few weeks, and then they'll come home hugging their toasters.

SANDRA

Psych starts at 7. When will this be over?

TYLER

I was walking on the river trail one day, and I saw a beaver! Can you believe it, a beaver near a city like this? But they're real. I followed it down the path, it was actually getting wood. It was amazing.

SANDRA

20 dollar nail job?

TYLER

If I were an animal, I would be a beaver. They're so wild and free.

SANDRA

(digging through purse pulling out gum)

Ah, I left the peppermint home. Why do I buy spearmint? Who in their right mind would ever buy spearmint?

TYLER

I'm sorry, what was your name?

SANDRA

It looks like we're switching.

TYLER

Oh. Well, it was great talking, uh.

(to himself)

Man, I forgot her name.

(calling to Sandra)

Hey, wait, do you want to exchange numbers? Or e-mails?